Hey Farrah. I haven't left a job that made me happy, but added onto a safe way of life. Of mothering (which I love) and little jobs I felt I was doing well. Last year, at 32, with three little kids... I started to send pitches to editors, without any previous experience in journalism. And this year of writing stories of human rights has been incredibly hard. My nails have been bitten off with nerves and disappointment and pride. So I haven't climbed to the top and left. But I have grabbed onto a very low branch and attempted to climb a tree I'd never seen before. Loved this letter from you, keep it up. X
Reading this reminded me of the importance of being hungry… hungry to learn, hungry to experience, live…, eat! We all leave a restaurant regardless of how good it is when we are full after all!
Hi Farrah. Thanks for writing this. I did the opposite of you. I knew what I wanted to do from an early age (write) and I vividly remember the one copy of The Clothes Show magazine (remember?!) I had saved up for - it must have been 1992. I read every inch of that magazine as if my life depended on it. I kept it under my bed for years and read it frequently. I can still picture the focus on russet tones (it was the October issue) and the model's long auburn hair. Long story short, once I'd graduated with an English degree, I got scared. I suffered from anxiety from the age of 9 and the thought of striking out on my own in London was too much for me. So I went to Law School (not exactly the "easy" option, but nevertheless....) and after another 4 years of training I qualified as a Finance Lawyer. I literally couldn't have been further from where I wanted to be, and I was only 24. I gave it another 2 years. I couldn't take it anymore. I left, gave up the ridiculous salary and the job security, and people thought I was mad. I felt like a failure. I felt stupid, and selfish, and vacuous. What on earth was I going to do now? I jumped from job to job for a few years and then thankfully fell pregnant so felt I didn't need to justify my nomadic career anymore. I just.....stopped. For 13 years. For 13 years I fielded the "and what do you do?" questions with (hopefully) grace and mainly avoidance. Then last summer, I thought back to that 12 year old girl, reading The Clothes Show magazine on her bedroom carpet (I was ridiculously sad when a few years ago, the shop I bought it from finally closed down) and decided to give her what she'd dreamt of. I started to write. It wasn't anything big, or profound, but I took a couple of evening masterclasses with two excellent female journalists, who have been so encouraging and positive that I actually started to believe I can do this. So, I'm basically starting out where you left off (actually, more like way below where you started out, but you get the gist) and it made me think, isn't it great, how different we all are? Thank goodness for that, I always tell my children, otherwise we'd all be after the same thing. And that's not good for anyone. I hope your new journey brings you joy and happiness along the way, until your next crossroads.
"I realised that walking away from something that made me happy, was a sign I was aware of the person I had the potential to be. Which of course, brought its own joy." - beautiful and profound and perfectly articulated
I originally came across your writing when I read the discomfort zone a few years ago. The message within the book has stayed with me and has helped fuel a lot of my decisions in my career and personal life. I have worked in pharmaceuticals for about 6 years in 3 different roles. In each one I grew and developed. The most scary for me was becoming a line manger to someone, as it was out of my comfort zone, I lacked confidence in my abilities and the idea of having such an influence on someone else’s career felt like a huge responsibility. 24 months on and I’d proved my previous doubts to be incorrect and had successfully mentored and supported a s second new member of staff to excel in their role. Within this time I’d also made a lateral career move and found a team I really loved working with and a role I enjoyed and was more aligned with what i’d always wanted to do in research and development. I had never felt more confident and loved my job! But unfortunately, the introvert in me was slipping into the shadows, I wasn’t speaking up on team meetings and the extroverts in the team were getting all of the attention! I felt like I had eased back into my comfort zone again. It was time to try something new and rediscover that discomfort zone. I applied for my dream job at a pharmaceutical company that I’d always wanted to work for and got it. This also meant relocating! Breaking the news to my line manager and friends felt heartbreaking and I felt something similar to grief leaving behind the friends and colleagues and city that had supported me and been so kind to me for the last 6 years. Now I am in my new role, I don’t feel like I have quite settled in, I’m uncertain of what the future holds, but my gut keeps telling me that this is the right thing. I think sometimes we have to take a leap of faith because if we didn’t try, we’d never know. Good luck with your next adventure and please keep sharing the wisdom! Thank you for inspiring me to keep pushing myslef ☺️
Love this and completely agree that this was the right thing to do, Farrah. From my own experience, you can’t feel joy in your achievements without being challenged. In fact, since I was 16 I believed I wanted to be in magazines, but I recently moved away from the industry as, even though I was content, I wasn’t learning and growing anymore at the pace I wanted to. I needed a new challenge. I still feel the pull of magazines sometimes and enjoy some freelance writing on the side, but for now I’m seeing where this new and exciting direction takes me.
Your point about not being taught to question happiness is also interesting. It made me think about the fact that from a young age, children’s films and books often taught me that ‘happily ever after’ was the ultimate goal. Perhaps that’s also part of the reason why we feel that questioning it is ‘churlish and ungrateful’. But of course, this aim isn’t realistic, no story ends there except in fairy tales – and nor would I want it to, life would be thoroughly boring if it did!
Farrah.....WOW. You literally lived the life that was my dream. And the authenticity and honesty behind this essay opened up a whole new perspective for me. I would love to know more details. You are clearly a strong and brave woman who is clear on her boundaries and knows what's best for her. Good for you!!
How empowering is it to redefine what our ‘success metrics’ are as we negotiate our journey .. I walked away from a highly charged career in television after a near complete adrenal breakdown. There’s no job worth sacrificing our health for. Thank you for sharing Farrah x
I left my previous editorial job that I enjoyed because I was never going to get higher at the company and after almost five years it had run its course. I loved the work and my colleagues (oh so much – best people) but I needed something else – and I have that now. But now I'm striving for my Substack to take off and then write a novel next year so fingers crossed also for the next journey. I came to this piece from your note today. Hope you feel better soon. Sending well wishes.
I have also given up a job I loved as an art teacher to pursue my career as a stylist and interiors writer - it was absolutely the right thing to do - both fed my soul and I listened to myself when I made the decision. I have always loved my work and identified with it very comfortably but my personal life has always been quite angst ridden so I was fascinated by your statement that you can leave friendships when they no longer work for you - wow - lost in admiration 🤩 would love to hear more!
“They say you never feel closer in a relationship than at the moment of saying goodbye. The searing honesty that things have run their course, brings with it an intimacy that is rarely matched” - wow, gut punch! Perfectly put how I’ve felt into words, magical. Thank you.
I relate so much with this because I, too, am a journalist and left a job I loved for survival. I adored my colleagues who were crusty, cynical yet fun-loving souls, I loved the frenetic pace of a daily newspaper, the passionate outbursts that filled the newsroom floor. But I knew that I stayed any longer, I would burn out and my career would suffer. And man, the low pay sucked. Somehow, the night hours, the crazy pace became too much for me. It took a complete physical breakdown for me to finally quit an industry I loved but ... wasn't really good for me. I'm now a tech writer, much happier and I know I'm more marketable than before. But I still miss it and dream of returning. Daily.
Really enjoyed this, Farrah, thank you for sharing. So much of it resonated with my own experiences - as did many of the comments. That's one thing I've actually found my love of magazines being significantly affected by in the last couple of years - after reading an in-depth experience piece, I want to read people's comments! Substack bridges this 'community' gap between writer and reader really well for me. Look forward to more.
I’m 60 on 17 Feb and so excited to start something new just not 100% sure what that will be. I work with my husband and have done for the past 20 years. We have a successful creative agency. Why can’t I just stay as I am? I keep asking myself that question. It’s scary, but it has to come.
Thank you for this, Farrah. I'm currently deciding whether to give up a job I love - different reasons from yours - but what you say about the trap of being happy makes perfect sense to me.
Hi Farrah, I loved reading about your experience. I think leaving a comfortable and well-known path we imagined for ourselves can be hard, but in the end, hard decisions end up rewarding us the most. I also recently left magazines after working there in my early and mid-twenties. Since high school, working at a fashion magazine was all I could ever imagine for myself, but after a few years, the work started to feel repetitive and I felt I am losing my spark. After I moved from my home country Slovenia to London, I somehow ended up at a tech company. At first, I almost resented my decision to leave fashion and journalism behind, but now I know this job is allowing me to grow so much in ways I never even knew I can. xx
Hey Farrah. I haven't left a job that made me happy, but added onto a safe way of life. Of mothering (which I love) and little jobs I felt I was doing well. Last year, at 32, with three little kids... I started to send pitches to editors, without any previous experience in journalism. And this year of writing stories of human rights has been incredibly hard. My nails have been bitten off with nerves and disappointment and pride. So I haven't climbed to the top and left. But I have grabbed onto a very low branch and attempted to climb a tree I'd never seen before. Loved this letter from you, keep it up. X
Reading this reminded me of the importance of being hungry… hungry to learn, hungry to experience, live…, eat! We all leave a restaurant regardless of how good it is when we are full after all!
Hi Farrah. Thanks for writing this. I did the opposite of you. I knew what I wanted to do from an early age (write) and I vividly remember the one copy of The Clothes Show magazine (remember?!) I had saved up for - it must have been 1992. I read every inch of that magazine as if my life depended on it. I kept it under my bed for years and read it frequently. I can still picture the focus on russet tones (it was the October issue) and the model's long auburn hair. Long story short, once I'd graduated with an English degree, I got scared. I suffered from anxiety from the age of 9 and the thought of striking out on my own in London was too much for me. So I went to Law School (not exactly the "easy" option, but nevertheless....) and after another 4 years of training I qualified as a Finance Lawyer. I literally couldn't have been further from where I wanted to be, and I was only 24. I gave it another 2 years. I couldn't take it anymore. I left, gave up the ridiculous salary and the job security, and people thought I was mad. I felt like a failure. I felt stupid, and selfish, and vacuous. What on earth was I going to do now? I jumped from job to job for a few years and then thankfully fell pregnant so felt I didn't need to justify my nomadic career anymore. I just.....stopped. For 13 years. For 13 years I fielded the "and what do you do?" questions with (hopefully) grace and mainly avoidance. Then last summer, I thought back to that 12 year old girl, reading The Clothes Show magazine on her bedroom carpet (I was ridiculously sad when a few years ago, the shop I bought it from finally closed down) and decided to give her what she'd dreamt of. I started to write. It wasn't anything big, or profound, but I took a couple of evening masterclasses with two excellent female journalists, who have been so encouraging and positive that I actually started to believe I can do this. So, I'm basically starting out where you left off (actually, more like way below where you started out, but you get the gist) and it made me think, isn't it great, how different we all are? Thank goodness for that, I always tell my children, otherwise we'd all be after the same thing. And that's not good for anyone. I hope your new journey brings you joy and happiness along the way, until your next crossroads.
"I realised that walking away from something that made me happy, was a sign I was aware of the person I had the potential to be. Which of course, brought its own joy." - beautiful and profound and perfectly articulated
Hi Farrah,
I originally came across your writing when I read the discomfort zone a few years ago. The message within the book has stayed with me and has helped fuel a lot of my decisions in my career and personal life. I have worked in pharmaceuticals for about 6 years in 3 different roles. In each one I grew and developed. The most scary for me was becoming a line manger to someone, as it was out of my comfort zone, I lacked confidence in my abilities and the idea of having such an influence on someone else’s career felt like a huge responsibility. 24 months on and I’d proved my previous doubts to be incorrect and had successfully mentored and supported a s second new member of staff to excel in their role. Within this time I’d also made a lateral career move and found a team I really loved working with and a role I enjoyed and was more aligned with what i’d always wanted to do in research and development. I had never felt more confident and loved my job! But unfortunately, the introvert in me was slipping into the shadows, I wasn’t speaking up on team meetings and the extroverts in the team were getting all of the attention! I felt like I had eased back into my comfort zone again. It was time to try something new and rediscover that discomfort zone. I applied for my dream job at a pharmaceutical company that I’d always wanted to work for and got it. This also meant relocating! Breaking the news to my line manager and friends felt heartbreaking and I felt something similar to grief leaving behind the friends and colleagues and city that had supported me and been so kind to me for the last 6 years. Now I am in my new role, I don’t feel like I have quite settled in, I’m uncertain of what the future holds, but my gut keeps telling me that this is the right thing. I think sometimes we have to take a leap of faith because if we didn’t try, we’d never know. Good luck with your next adventure and please keep sharing the wisdom! Thank you for inspiring me to keep pushing myslef ☺️
Love this and completely agree that this was the right thing to do, Farrah. From my own experience, you can’t feel joy in your achievements without being challenged. In fact, since I was 16 I believed I wanted to be in magazines, but I recently moved away from the industry as, even though I was content, I wasn’t learning and growing anymore at the pace I wanted to. I needed a new challenge. I still feel the pull of magazines sometimes and enjoy some freelance writing on the side, but for now I’m seeing where this new and exciting direction takes me.
Your point about not being taught to question happiness is also interesting. It made me think about the fact that from a young age, children’s films and books often taught me that ‘happily ever after’ was the ultimate goal. Perhaps that’s also part of the reason why we feel that questioning it is ‘churlish and ungrateful’. But of course, this aim isn’t realistic, no story ends there except in fairy tales – and nor would I want it to, life would be thoroughly boring if it did!
Farrah.....WOW. You literally lived the life that was my dream. And the authenticity and honesty behind this essay opened up a whole new perspective for me. I would love to know more details. You are clearly a strong and brave woman who is clear on her boundaries and knows what's best for her. Good for you!!
How empowering is it to redefine what our ‘success metrics’ are as we negotiate our journey .. I walked away from a highly charged career in television after a near complete adrenal breakdown. There’s no job worth sacrificing our health for. Thank you for sharing Farrah x
I left my previous editorial job that I enjoyed because I was never going to get higher at the company and after almost five years it had run its course. I loved the work and my colleagues (oh so much – best people) but I needed something else – and I have that now. But now I'm striving for my Substack to take off and then write a novel next year so fingers crossed also for the next journey. I came to this piece from your note today. Hope you feel better soon. Sending well wishes.
I have also given up a job I loved as an art teacher to pursue my career as a stylist and interiors writer - it was absolutely the right thing to do - both fed my soul and I listened to myself when I made the decision. I have always loved my work and identified with it very comfortably but my personal life has always been quite angst ridden so I was fascinated by your statement that you can leave friendships when they no longer work for you - wow - lost in admiration 🤩 would love to hear more!
“They say you never feel closer in a relationship than at the moment of saying goodbye. The searing honesty that things have run their course, brings with it an intimacy that is rarely matched” - wow, gut punch! Perfectly put how I’ve felt into words, magical. Thank you.
I relate so much with this because I, too, am a journalist and left a job I loved for survival. I adored my colleagues who were crusty, cynical yet fun-loving souls, I loved the frenetic pace of a daily newspaper, the passionate outbursts that filled the newsroom floor. But I knew that I stayed any longer, I would burn out and my career would suffer. And man, the low pay sucked. Somehow, the night hours, the crazy pace became too much for me. It took a complete physical breakdown for me to finally quit an industry I loved but ... wasn't really good for me. I'm now a tech writer, much happier and I know I'm more marketable than before. But I still miss it and dream of returning. Daily.
Really enjoyed this, Farrah, thank you for sharing. So much of it resonated with my own experiences - as did many of the comments. That's one thing I've actually found my love of magazines being significantly affected by in the last couple of years - after reading an in-depth experience piece, I want to read people's comments! Substack bridges this 'community' gap between writer and reader really well for me. Look forward to more.
I’m 60 on 17 Feb and so excited to start something new just not 100% sure what that will be. I work with my husband and have done for the past 20 years. We have a successful creative agency. Why can’t I just stay as I am? I keep asking myself that question. It’s scary, but it has to come.
Thank you for this, Farrah. I'm currently deciding whether to give up a job I love - different reasons from yours - but what you say about the trap of being happy makes perfect sense to me.
Hi Farrah, I loved reading about your experience. I think leaving a comfortable and well-known path we imagined for ourselves can be hard, but in the end, hard decisions end up rewarding us the most. I also recently left magazines after working there in my early and mid-twenties. Since high school, working at a fashion magazine was all I could ever imagine for myself, but after a few years, the work started to feel repetitive and I felt I am losing my spark. After I moved from my home country Slovenia to London, I somehow ended up at a tech company. At first, I almost resented my decision to leave fashion and journalism behind, but now I know this job is allowing me to grow so much in ways I never even knew I can. xx