The deeply thoughtful gift guide
Gifts that make it look like you've spent all year thinking about them...even if there is only ten days left to buy them
*This is a long gift guide- so make sure you download the ENTIRE message when it lands in your inbox, as Gmail may truncate this.
There are two gifts that stand out.
The first was a cake: a plain Victoria sponge sandwich that arrived on a china plate, held in the hands of one of my dearest friends, Lisa.
For reasons that are far too complicated to go into here I was alone for my 43rd birthday - the first time ever in fact that I’d been without company.
‘Well, we can’t have that,’ Lisa had said in the very matter of fact way she says lots of things. ‘What’s your favourite cake?’ And then a few days later, there she was. On my doorstep with a smile, a bottle of fizz and a whopping big sponge cake.
The second was a 200-mile round car trip to Shropshire on one of the snowiest Novembers on record. I’d found a puppy, you see: the last remaining chocolate labradoodle puppy of the litter. She was mine, the breeder had told me….if only I could come and collect her. The problem was said puppy was in one of the most remote corners of the country. On the other side of the country. And I couldn’t drive.
I recounted this to a new-ish colleague called Emily. She listened, and then, after a few minutes turned to me and said: ‘If you can hire a car, I’ll drive you to pick up your puppy.’
I should have said no. But I didn’t. Instead I let this wonderful, kind woman pick me up one cold Saturday morning, help me lay out blankets in the front and back and then set off for the Shropshire hills. Four hours later we had a tiny pup the colour of mud on my knees. Eleven years later that dog, Parker, is the best thing that ever came into my life. And I will take Emily’s generosity to the grave.
What do these two gifts have in common? Quite a lot as it happens. Thought for one. And empathy. Time too. The gift of a busy person’s time (whether that’s at holiday season or at any other point in your life) is an undervalued thing. Because in my experience at least, the best gifts are not those that are a great, dazzling surprise. They are not a ‘special’ item, a piece of jewellery say, or a fancy handbag. (My husband bought me the Celine box bag on that lonely 43rd birthday; but it’s the cake I remember.)
The way I see it, gifts are basically an expression of feeling. Namely your feelings towards and about the recipient. It’s why some gifts fall so horribly flat. Like the time I was given not one but twelve flick knives by a neighbour when I was 15. Or when a mother-in-law buys you an apron and a packet of tea towels. Gifts not only tell people how much you’ve been thinking about them at Christmas/holiday season, but how much thought you give them full stop. And a truly thoughtful gift can stop someone in their tracks.
Of course it’s all rather late now. So I have come up with some present solutions that feel sufficiently thoughtful- even if you do only buy them this weekend.
As ever, I’d love to hear your ideas too. Or tell us the most thoughtful present you ever received in the community chat below.
And of course, if you simply fancy all these presents yourself, just hit the button below to tell Santa.