Inside the mid-life fitness crisis
What happens when exercise goes from friend to foe?
For the complete experience and to receive a little something from me every week as well as have access to my private chat channel (SO much good information being swapped over there) then why not become a paid subscriber to this Substack? You’re not only supporting independent journalism but getting access to a whole new world too.
The plan was to run 5km. A straight road through the fields, over one hill and then back again.
‘How hard can it be?’ I say to myself. ‘I used to run half marathons with no training.’ And for a moment I feel very smug.
But then I remember. That was 12 years ago. I am 45 now. I sporadically run whenever I am on holiday, but that’s about it. Mainly because it means I spend the rest of the holiday gripping my hips whilst wailing to my husband that I have running-induced osteoporosis.
You do not have running-induced osteoporosis, he tells me.
I lace my trainers up but my feet feel stiff and chunky- sort of like a Toblerone bar. (I know that sounds weird, but chocolate analogies come easily to me nowadays, and besides, this is true.) ‘It’s the osteoporosis!’ I shout to my husband who is the other room.
He is ignoring me now. ‘Or maybe pre-diabetes!’
Still nothing.
Trainers on, I pop my asthma spray in the elastic of my leggings which I notice feels abnormally tight around my stomach. (Perimenopause? Gastrointestinal bloating? I must have something wrong with me?)
And then I run.
But my body feels like lead. Just lifting one foot in front of the other feels like torture. It never used to feel this way.
Maybe I’ll stop and do some stretching I say to myself but then I notice a neighbour in the garden who is watching me from behind the bushes so I have to keep going. He’s doing it to spite me! I tell myself and then feel irrationally angry for the duration of the run, which is actually no bad thing since at least it keeps me moving.
It pains me to think there are people much older than me who do this every single day. And for sheer fun!
And then I remember. I used to be one of those people.